How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 4

With time to talk over our final concerns with each other, J and I decided to follow our gut. Our baby would be delivered via c-section. I knew deep down that no matter what I did to move around, change positions, etc. that this baby was not going to come out the traditional way. I did not want to risk putting baby's safety in jeopardy or cause it any more distress and then have to do an emergency c-section sometime in the middle of the night. I felt in my gut that I had played the waiting game long enough, and something was telling me that it was in God's plan to bring this baby into the world by c-section. When I told J my feelings on it, he agreed.

Moments later, Michelle came back into the room and I said "I think we're gonna do it." She smiled, asked if I was really sure and then said "okay! Let's get this baby out!" The next hour or so went by quickly. J went out to the waiting room to tell our parents and my sister that I would be having a c-section.   Michelle prepped the area as best she could in my room, gave me a sexy blue hair cap and sent J to change into his scrubs. I remember laughing when he came out of the bathroom with pants, shoe covers, a cap and no top! She had handed him two pairs of pants! As promised, she got him ready for kangaroo care (skin-to-skin contact right after birth) with two gowns- the bottom layer opened in the front and the top layer opened in the back. She had him put the camera in his pocket and then we were all set!

J and I ready to go

We waited for the team to finish up another delivery in the OR before it was my turn. My parents and sister had one last chance to come back to my room to give us one last kiss and hug before the delivery team took over. I was wheeled down the hall and around the corner. I remember feeling such anticipation, and the "this is it!" feeling that I thought I'd feel at home when my water broke and it was time to go to the hospital. Turns out I could still have the excitement, just in a different form. Love how things work out that way sometimes. 

I arrived in the OR and was blinded by the bright lights! I remember being amazed at all of the gear in that tiny room. There was a lot to look at- shelves of equipment everywhere, machines for which use I had not a clue, etc. I remember spotting the big clock on the wall and thinking "that's what they'll look at to tell me what time the baby is born!" J had to wait outside with our families for a while as they got me ready for surgery. I was moved onto the operating table and the anesthesiologists got to work. They upped the epidural and hung that annoying blue drape in front of me. I was surprised that the drape actually gets taped to your belly! The one lady kept poking my belly and then my arm asking if I could feel the poke on my belly. I felt a sensation, but not as much as the one on my arm. Guess that means the epi was turned up enough. She poked around my shoulder area, put my arms out to the side, propped my head on a pillow making sure I was comfortable, and put the oxygen tubes in my nose. At that point I just had to wait for the "man behind the curtain" to do his final preparations, so I laid there staring at the bright lights and listening to the LOUD country music station that they had on the radio. Then it was time to call J into the room. 

Already looking puffy and rosy cheeked from the Pitocin and fluids. HOT.

J came in and I got very anxious (but in a good way) because the big moment was fast approaching. He sat at a chair by my left shoulder and rubbed my left arm and shoulders as we waited. He asked if I was okay and we talked for just a minute. I could hear the excitement in his voice when Michelle said "okay, Dad, do you have your camera ready?" I couldn't believe things were moving so fast! I heard the physician's assistant say "Oh, they don't know what it is?" and the excitement was building... They told me I might feel some tugging, but I felt nothing at all. Suddenly the P.A. exclaimed "IT'S A BOY!!!" and at 10:26 pm, just one hour and 34 minutes before my own birthday, the sweetest sound I've ever heard came into the OR canceling out all other sounds in that room. My son's first cry. A boy. Strong thoughts suddenly made me realize that I somehow knew it was a boy all along... I have a son, I thought. A baby boy. I couldn't see what was happening next, but they held the baby up and over the drape a little so I could see him. I saw this little hand, then an arm and the right side of his face. I'll never forget the site of that- his tiny face, that little hand, the crease in his chubby little wrists... They took him over to the warmer to clean him up. I laid there listening to everything going on around me and said out loud "Aww..." as I heard him crying. A wave of emotions came over me, and I started to cry. I was so happy that everything went smoothly, that he was healthy and here! His cries came quickly and loudly after he came out; the meconium didn't appear to be an issue at all! I listened to him cry, and could hear J saying to the nurses "he's so big! I can't believe how big he is!"

They asked J if he wanted to cut the cord and he said yes (he didn't think he'd want to before he saw him). I heard them giving him instructions, and J just kept saying "Hi buddy" and "I can't believe how big he is!" I started to wonder "geez, how big IS he?!" At one point J even said "it's like on TV how they deliver a newborn but it's like a 3 month old baby." haha

The nurses finished cleaning him up, and put him on the scale...

9 pounds 6.2 ounces! The nurses said "good decision on the c, Mom!" Doubt there was any way a 9 pound baby would have come out otherwise. Michelle took the camera from J, and handed him his son... 

Our little guy snuggled up to his daddy, and mommy watched over them admiring her two boys...

My favorite picture ever...

The doctors worked to close me up, and had to ask J to leave the room as they were almost done. J went out to spread the good news, and I laid there listening to more country music. The lineup that night: "I Love You This Big" by Scotty McCreary at the moment of his birth, "Back to December" by Taylor Swift, "Don't Even Know His Last Name" by Carrie Underwood, and "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney. Classic. Michelle put a diaper on our little boy who was yet to be unnamed. (I told J and the P.A. that kept asking that I wanted to hold him and get a good look at him before we officially chose his name). They laid him in the bassinet as they transferred me back to a hospital bed. This moment was hilarious to me. Due to the awesome epidural, I couldn't move at all when they asked me to scooch over. I said that I couldn't because I had no feeling in my legs. (In my head now I'm picturing that scene in Can't Hardly Wait. I can't feel my legs...I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" Anyone?).  So, in true transporting-a-sea-mammal style, three nurses lifted up the blanket I was laying on, and scooped me up and over to the bed. 

Michelle said goodbye to me and wished us luck. I thanked her for everything she did for us, and then for the first time, they placed my baby boy in my arms and wheeled us off to the recovery room as I said "Hello. I'm your mommy and I love you..." J met us in the recovery room where we spent some quiet time together as a family trying to get baby to latch on (a story for another day...). We held him, started to fall in love with him, and decided to name him Julian Finlay (nickname Finn). J confessed to me "I wanted a boy. I didn't realize how much until he was born," and I knew that in my heart I knew it was meant to be for I wanted him too...

The End of our birth story. The beginning of many adventures to come. Thanks for reading.

In case you missed it:
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 1
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 2
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 3

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 3

After what seemed like the longest hour of my life, the team of anesthesiologists finally arrived in my room to give me the epidural. I was so relieved to see them that I didn't have time to be nervous about getting the epidural at all. My threshold for pain was just about at it's maximum and I was having a hard time focusing. I read somewhere that to manage the pain during labor, you're mentally supposed to let each contraction be in the past after it is done, and just try to focus on one at a time. I did not have the mental clarity to think this way at the time, and just knew I needed relief. The contractions were too intense and coming too quickly to be able to clear my head in between them. So it was decided. Epi it was. No natural child birth for me and this baby.

Nurse Sarah helped me to the edge of the bed- no easy effort when you feel like a whale, are gushing amniotic fluid, and your uterus is cramping/contracting every 20 seconds. I could barely brace myself enough to maneuver into position. I dangled my legs off the side of the bed and Sarah handed me a pillow to put in my lap. She stood across from me and held my hands. She would speak to me to let me when a contraction was coming or almost done, and otherwise just stayed very quiet with me and let me squeeze the crap out of her hands. I remember thinking that it was taking the anesthesiologists FOREVER to set up, clean the site, etc. They were explaining each step to me and I really could not have cared less what they were doing as long as it was in and the pain was gone. The one guy was very chatty and was talking to his co-worker about his kid's softball team. This was the point that I wanted to scream out loud "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" It was hard enough to focus and this dude was just carrying on about all kinds of nonsense. At one point I remember him asking me if I had history of scoliosis. I was beyond irritated with him and couldn't muster up enough breath or energy, so I ignored him. I looked at Sarah and I'm sure she was able to read my expression so she said "she's in the middle of a contraction. Give her a minute." I finally just shook my head no and prayed that he would hurry up. He finally told me that I'd feel a little bee sting as the local anesthetic went in, and then some tugging as they inserted the catheter. I felt the sting but it was nothing compared to the pain of the contractions. Moments later he said "okay, it's in. You might feel one more contraction and then some relief." He was right. The last contraction passed and then the clouds parted, the sunlight streamed in and the angels sang "Hallelujah!" It was the sweetest relief ever, and I have ZERO regrets about asking for the epidural.

The team left my room and Sarah helped me get comfortable. J came back into the room to find a whole new wife. I felt great! I could see the contractions on the monitor but felt nothing. It was glorious! My parents and sister stopped in for a bit, followed by Jeff's sister and two nieces. I didn't feel like sleeping much so we just hung out for awhile. Sarah came back after awhile to do another exam. Again- felt nothing. I hadn't dilated any more so we just waited.

I think it was about three hours later when a nurse came in to check me again. I hadn't progressed since I got the epidural and the contractions were slowing down. The baby's heart rate was fine as it had been all day, but essentially my contractions had fallen off the labor curve. Not a good sign... Since they had turned off the Pitocin hours earlier, the nurse called my OB who recommended that they hook it back up again to try to move things along a bit to see what happened. I remember the nurse mentioning that the doctor had mentioned potentially needing to do a c-section if this didn't work. We talked through our options and decided to try it. The nurse turned on the drip and within about 20 minutes I was feeling VERY queasy. I threw up a couple of times and felt pretty sick, but still didn't feel contractions. I sent Jeff down to get some dinner because we knew it would probably be awhile before anything happened.

At some point around this time, 6 pm in the evening or so, there was a change in shifts and a new nurse named Michelle came on duty. She didn't really introduce herself like the others had, just sort of appeared. For some reason she made me a little nervous. She was in the room talking with me at one point and suddenly the baby's heart rate dropped a bit and some scary beeping sound was coming from the monitors. Michelle put the oxygen mask on me and I took some deep breaths. After the heart rate went back up, and things looked okay she left me alone in the room for a little while to let the Pitocin do it's work. I was pretty scared about the heart rate dropping and began to get pretty nervous. I had just reached for a cup and was vomiting when an OB that I had not yet met came into my room to introduce herself. She saw I was sick and said she'd come back. A little while later my parents stopped back in to see me and same thing- cup in hand, puking, dry heaving, something unpleasant. They walked back out to give me some privacy. The OB came back in, apologized for meeting me for the first time during such a moment, and examined me, and announced "it feels like you're about 4 cm. and the cervix is hardening a little."What? I thought it was supposed to be softening, not hardening. And a FOUR?! What happened to my almost 6? It had been hours! I've gone BACKWARDS? How can that happen? The doctor informed me that most likely the baby's head was bearing down against my cervix with every contraction, and that the head was probably too big to fit and was thus causing my cervix to swell and close. She told me that she recommended a c-section. And there it was... The exact statement I had been dreading...

The OB left the room, and I was alone with Nurse Michelle. She began to ask me questions and wanted to know what I was nervous about. I answered her a little hesitantly because I got the sense that I was being judged and written off as a pain in the ass. I started to open up to her about my concerns. They had seen some meconium staining. Will the baby be in more danger if it doesn't have a chance to go down the birth canal to squeeze the fluid out of it's chest and lungs? And breastfeeding?! If they can't put the baby directly on my chest when it's born, it won't have a chance to find it's way to the breast to eat and regulate it's blood sugar and all of the other good stuff that comes along with skin-to-skin contact directly after birth. Would I have to have all of my future children this way too? Did I really NEED a c-section or did this doctor just want to get things over with and go home for the night? We talked through a lot of this and I came to find out that Michelle had a baby just five months earlier via c-section after 50 some hours of labor. She said she wanted to hold out as long as she could and make sure she did everything she could before consenting to the c-section. She told me about her experience and said "Amy, this is your decision, not theirs. Do not let them pressure you into it. Make the decision on your own and do what you feel is right." It was then, that I realized she was on my side and that I was very, very lucky that she was on duty as my nurse. She really "got it."

Jeff came back from dinner and we gave him the recap of what the OB said and talked with Michelle for a long while about the pros and cons of having the c-section. Jeff wanted to know why Michelle personally had held out so long and what the risks were for me having it, and what they were if I didn't have it. As we talked, the Pitocin kept dripping away, and my contractions were still very weak. It wasn't working. The OB came in to check on us again, and the anesthesiologist came in to prep me for a c-section. Michelle quickly said "she hasn't decided if that's what she wants. We will let you know if we need you." She was like our own personal bouncer. Jeff and I ultimately came to the conclusion that if we agreed to do a c-section now, that we had to be at peace with the possibility that any future babies most likely would have to be delivered that way too. I know it is possible to do a VBAC, but feel that the chances are slim. I told Jeff that I just had a feeling that this baby was supposed to be born by c-section. We sat there quietly and discussed it for awhile (in between my dry heaves) and kept debating the pros and cons.

Michelle came back in the room soon, and we talked with her a bit more. She had been talking it over with some other nurses, and said my other option was to keep trying the Pitocin and just wait it out, changing positions very frequently, moving around as much as I could in that bed. She kept reminding me that it was my decision to make, and shared some more about the experience that she had just months before. She agreed to go find out what time my OB was back on the schedule, so that if we did decide to deliver via c-section that she was the one to do it. We waited for Michelle to come back, and it was while she was gone that we finally came to a decision...

In case you missed it:

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 1

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 2

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 2

After a quick drive from the restaurant where I had my last pregnant lady meal, we arrived at the hospital in the rain. J and I grabbed the bags and walked into the main doors of the hospital. On our tour, they told us to come in the emergency entrance and pick up the "Stork Line" phone to call the birthing center and let them know we were there. We weren't sure what to do since it was a planned appointment for induction, so we just went in the emergency room doors and were greeted by a security guard. He showed us the phone and quickly offered me a wheelchair; I don't think he realized I wasn't actually in labor!

After announcing our arrival on the "Stork Line" and making our way through the hospital we arrived in the birthing center at about 5:30 pm. I was late for the 5:00 pm appointment, but figured it didn't really matter because the baby would come out one way or the other even if we were late. We waited for about 15 minutes before being escorted down the hall to Room 9. It was surreal walking in and seeing the little warmer in the corner thinking our little one would be born in this room! We got settled, I changed into my own pajamas to be as comfortable as possible that night, and then we waited for the nurse to come in for the initial exam. She checked me out and confirmed that I was still 0 cm. dilated. Sigh. It was going to be a long night...

The induction got started. I was strapped up to the he monitors and the nurse put the Cervidil in place. The monitors showed that I was having some contractions that I couldn't feel too much, and the nurse said they were about 3 minutes long. Because they were most likely due to mild dehydration, they gave me a bag of IV fluids. At this point there wasn't much to be done since the Cervidil had to stay in place for 12 hours unless active labor came during that timeframe. J hung out with me for awhile, and my parents stopped in for a visit. I ate my little bag of pretzels with peanut butter and sipped on some water. I did not want to have to get up to use the restroom since it meant unhooking the monitors and dragging the IV pole in there with me, so I stayed put and watched some tv before sending J home to get some rest. I'd like to say I slept well that night to save up some rest, but I was much too anxious. I kept listening to the baby's heartbeat on the monitor, the sounds in the corridors, and the thunderstorm outside. Worst of it all was that everytime I rolled over due to a leg or hip cramp, the monitor would move and the nurse would have to come in to readjust the straps. I must have slept about 1.5 hours total in between episodes of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. It all seems a blur now, but it was a very long, tiring night.

The sun came up and my nurse came in to say good morning. After an exam to see if the Cervidil had done it's job, she said "well, you're still at 0 cm." The good news is that I was having regular contractions on the monitor. I still couldn't really feel them but she could tell that something was going on so I was a little hopeful. She gave me exactly 30 minutes to shower, change into a gown and get back in bed before the Pitocin started. I got ready and snuck a granola bar for breakfast. I knew it would be a long day and I didn't think a liquid diet was a huge deal since I was still at 0 and would have plenty of time to digest it. What a rebel, huh? Nurse Lauren wished me luck and introduced Nurse Sarah who would be with me on the day shift, and hopefully for the birth of our baby!

J arrived for the day looking excited and nervous. I filled him in on the lack of activity overnight and we waited for the show to begin. After I got settled they started the Pitocin and explained that they would increase it slowly in increments of two to see how I would respond. We got started at about 7:15 AM, as I sat and waited to feel the contractions come on. Around 8:45 AM my OB arrived, and did another exam. She was excited by the progress on the monitors and said "I think you were ready to go. This baby just needed a little nudge." She told me that I had dilated to about 1.5 cm. and that she was going to break my water to speed things up. It surprised me when she said this and the gravity of the moment didn't really hit me until later. Once she broke my water there was no turning back. I'd be leaving this hospital with my baby in my arms! I remember the gush and looking at J after the doctor left the room. It all seemed so surreal... I got a little nervous because they saw some light meconium staining and at first weren't even sure if that's what it was. The OB said she wouldn't be surprised given that I was a week overdue, but it didn't seem bad. Some more contractions and fluid confirmed it, and I was told that they'd need to carefully suction out the baby's mouth when he/she was born in case of any ingestion. Sarah told me that some babies inhale before that first cry which can make things worse, and in some cases would need to be monitored in the NICU if anything got into the lungs. I hoped for the best and tried not to worry about this. My OB talked to me about pain management and told me to speak up when things got intene, because Pitocin is known to create some aggressive contractions. She left and told me she'd see me later.

Over the next two hours things really picked up. I started to feel the contractions getting stronger and stronger. I was talking with J and watching tv. J called my parents to tell them that the OB had broken my water and that I was having contractions now. I was able to manage them laying in bed for awhile, but was getting uncomfortable. Each contraction would cause another gush of fluid. I remember wondering how much could possibly be left in there and also wondering how some women say they didn't notice their water breaking. To me it is a completely different sensation than peeing your pants and there is no possible way to confuse the two! Soon the contractions became a lot more aggressive. J helped me get out of bed and unhook the monitors for a minute so I could walk around the room a bit dragging my IV pole behind me. The first contraction that hit after I got out of bed showed me that this wasn't going to be easy. I pretty much had to stay at bedside if I didn't want to leave a trail of amniotic fluid all over my hospital room. I made one last attempt at getting into the bathroom when I realized that my mucous plug had come out (ew!). I knew I was dilating even more and that things were working.

Sarah helped me onto the birthing ball after cleaning up the messy trails I was leaving around the room, and I spent the next hour or so rocking and swaying my hips through each contraction. The contractions were becoming stronger to the point that I didn't want to talk very much and just had to focus. J sat in the corner and waited for me to ask him for help. He busied himself by playing on his iPhone and taking pictures on my camera. I hooked up my iPod and started the hypnobabies track and just tried to focus on that instead of the pain. Hypnobabies was like magic; I was able to tune everything out for awhile and really manage the contractions for awhile. And then I felt a sensation I hadn't felt since the first trimester and yelled "hand me that cup!" Enter nausea...

On the birthing ball, puke cup in hand. Glamorous.

Sometime later, I was back in bed trying not to puke. Contractions were coming much stronger and closer now. I really didn't have much time to warm up to this whole labor thing like I pictured. I thought I'd be spending time at home managing the small contractions before it was time to go to the hospital. I had to face them head on in Room 9 at that hospital. It had only been about 2 hours and I went from no pain to very intense pain in that small window of time. My parents arrived and came back to the room to see how things were going.  J and my mom were sitting on one side of the room hanging out, and my dad was in the armchair on the other side of the room. I think my dad was nervous and uncomfortable seeing me in pain, and kept asking questions about the monitors beeping, what the birthing ball was for, etc. I recall that as much as I wanted my parents to be there, I really just wanted everything to be totally quiet and not have to talk to anyone or be distracted. I couldn't really talk much at this point and was trying to get back into my Hypnobabies trance, but was in a lot of pain. I couldn't focus knowing that there were people in the room just staring at me even when I had my eyes closed. J could sense that I was uncomfortable, and was about to speak up when I was able to muster "Mom, I think you guys need to leave." They kissed me and left me to relax.

The nurse came in a little while later to check things out and asked if I had thrown up. I told her I almost did and that had I eaten something probably would have. She said "I'll bet your five. Most women start throwing up around five." They told me that they were going to check things out again, and I remember this exam being verrrrrry uncomfortable. My contractions were about 2 minutes long with maybe 30 seconds between them and I was in pain. She couldn't quite reach my cervix to tell, but thought I was about 5 and 1/2 to 6 cm. I'd gone from 0 to 5 1/2 in just about 3 hours. Because of the intensity of the contractions at that point, they turned off the Pitocin since I was progressing pretty well. She told me to try to relax, but the pain was intense. In my mind, I knew that a natural child birth was out of the question for me once that drip got started due to the instensity of the contractions it is known to cause. I made it a goal to get to 5-6 cm. before getting an epidural, so when I heard her say that I was only at 5 1/2 and not the 8 or 9 that I felt I should be given how strong and fast these contractions were I asked for the epidural. I didn't want to get it any sooner than 5 cm. for risk of stalling labor so to me "almost 6" was good enough. She asked if I was sure and I said yes. I knew without a doubt that there was no way I'd make it to ten cm. without one...

Nurse Sarah went off to order the epi and another nurse that was helping out on the busy floor that day told me they were finishing up one now and then had to do a c-section first, and would come to me as soon as they could.. The next hour or so was a blur of pain. Every second felt like minutes. J didn't know what to do since not much could comfort me, so we just waited there together quietly until the team of anesthesiologists wheeled in the big old epi cart and Sarah asked J to leave the room...    

Related posts:

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 1

How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 1

It is hard to believe that our little boy is already 8 weeks old. You hear everyone say "enjoy them while they're little. It goes by fast" and know they're right, but have no idea how much so until you see it before your very eyes. I am enjoying every day with our wee one and am loving this mommy thing! Before time gets away from me, I wanted to reflect on those last days of pregnancy and the adventures of bringing this baby into the world. Our birth story was not exactly what I pictured it would be like, but it is ours and perfect in it's own way. Here goes...

My due date was Monday, August 8th. I tried to work as long as I could up to the due date. I started to get the stares from co-workers and the comments like "you're STILL here?" when I would show up for work every morning, and it started to wear on me. I finally got the okay to work from home for week 39 of my pregnancy, but wasn't getting much done because I just could not focus. I had an OB appointment on the 2nd, and my doctor said I was slightly effaced, but not dilated a single bit. She did say that the baby's head was "right there" and that the late ultrasounds I had were probably right- this was going to be a big baby. Because of the size (they estimated baby was 8 lbs. 10 oz. at almost 39 weeks), she talked to me about the need to schedule an induction. This was a topic I really wanted to avoid, but due to some minor complications I had during pregnancy I knew that an induction would probably be likely. The doctor took a look at the calendar, her on call schedule, and went to her office to call the hospital. She came back in the room and announced "August 10th at 5:00 pm. Unless baby comes before that, we'll see you at the hospital at that time." She was hopeful that things would change over the course of the next few days and told me to stay at home and take it easy.

I went home and sent out a few final e-mails, activating the official "out of office" notice. I got busy nesting. I cleaned each nook and cranny of this house, and then cleaned them again. I finished up some projects that had been on my to do list for awhile, and even did some leftover wedding scrapbooking from our wedding almost 3 years ago! I was ready for the 8th and for this baby to come. I went for long walks every morning while the August temps weren't TOO bad, and caught up on the DVR. J and I went out for what we thought might be our last weekend dinner out as a twosome, and just enjoyed the quiet before the storm.

Monday, August 8th came and went. I woke up that morning and thought "well, baby will either be born on it's due date or officially late." I had been having some minor crampinng and tightening across my belly, but wondered if it was just Braxton-Hicks contractions and nothing to speak of. I waited for some new sensations to come over me, got excited with each trip to the potty that a sign of my mucous plug would indicate some dilation, etc. But as you may have guessed... nothing.

I started to really get nervous that week about the possibility of an induction. I heard lots of things about Pitocin making contractions unbearable, complicating breastfeeding, and leading to a higher chance of c-sections in the case of a failed induction. Each day that week I woke up in the morning feeling a little disappointed that nothing had happened overnight. I was getting more and more worried when baby wasn't showing any signs of showing up and that probably didn't help things. I felt as though scheduling an induction for 2 days after the due date wasn't giving Baby enough chance to come on his/her own, and felt that he/she would show up when it was "time." Aren't due dates just a best guess anyway?! I ended up calling the doctor and telling them that I would need to schedule another weekly appointment because I wanted to give the baby another week, and that I did not plan on showing up for the induction on the 10th. I was met with a bit of resistance from the nurse who answered the phone, but I didn't care. It's my body, my baby and my decision and something was telling me to wait.

I had an OB appointment the next morning and happily climbed up onto the table expecting my doctor to tell me that I was at least 1 cm. dilated. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case. My doctor told me I was still at zero, and we talked about my wanting to hold off on the induction. What I learned that day was that she would have to induce me no later than the start of my 41 week mark. Because of the complications I was having, it was safer to induce me than to leave the baby in there- not to mention this baby was just going to keep growing. I really wanted to try for a normal delivery, and that probably wouldn't be possible if the baby got much bigger. So, I left the office with a new induction date, Sunday, 8/14, with my doctor and I hoping that baby would come well before that.

That is when the days started running together and my life started to feel a bit like "Groundhog Day." I continued my walks around the neighborhood, drank my red raspberry leaf tea, and watched a lot of crappy daytime tv. I'd go to bed hoping to feel something overnight, and wake up in the morning only to start the cycle over again. By Friday, I had it. I got in the shower that morning and cried my eyes out in frustration. I just had a feeling that the baby wasn't going to show up before Sunday, and that an induction (and likely a c-section) might be in the cards for me. I let that idea sink in a bit, and tried to make peace with the possibility deciding that maybe it was meant to be. I tried to let go of the disappointment I felt that I wouldn't be able to  call my husband at work or wake him up to tell him "it's time." I wouldn't have to use those towels or extra pair of shorts I had put in the car on the 4th of July in case my water broke while I was out somewhere. There would be no calls to my parents telling them to hurry up and pack the car, and I wouldn't feel those twinges of pain across my belly realizing that I might actually be in labor. I figured if baby was to come on his/her own, than so it would be and if not I'd just pack my bag and show up on Sunday.

Saturday came and went...Nothing.

Sunday morning I woke up, got showered and dressed for the day, went to one last breakfast out at my favorite little creperie, and came home to pack up the car. Later that afternoon, my parents pulled in the driveway (a perk to scheduling an induction is that out of town relatives have plenty of time to get here), and we reviewed a few housekeeping items before heading out the door to grab one last bite to eat before it was time. After a quick bowl of soup at the restaurant, J and I got in the car and were on our way to Fairview Hospital. It was official - I would not go into labor on my own but the joy and anticipation that I would soon meet this little baby inside me was all I could feel...

The day our lives changed forever...

Our little bundle of joy has arrived! Julian Finlay was born on Monday, 8/15 at 10:26 p.m. 19.5 inches long and 9 lbs. 6.2 oz. 

We have survived the first month of parenthood and live to tell the tale. Now that our little one is starting to take better naps, I finally had a chance to post! More to come on the birth story, and our adventures so far...

We love him to pieces. This mommy stuff is amazing.