With time to talk over our final concerns with each other, J and I decided to follow our gut. Our baby would be delivered via c-section. I knew deep down that no matter what I did to move around, change positions, etc. that this baby was not going to come out the traditional way. I did not want to risk putting baby's safety in jeopardy or cause it any more distress and then have to do an emergency c-section sometime in the middle of the night. I felt in my gut that I had played the waiting game long enough, and something was telling me that it was in God's plan to bring this baby into the world by c-section. When I told J my feelings on it, he agreed.
|J and I ready to go|
We waited for the team to finish up another delivery in the OR before it was my turn. My parents and sister had one last chance to come back to my room to give us one last kiss and hug before the delivery team took over. I was wheeled down the hall and around the corner. I remember feeling such anticipation, and the "this is it!" feeling that I thought I'd feel at home when my water broke and it was time to go to the hospital. Turns out I could still have the excitement, just in a different form. Love how things work out that way sometimes.
I arrived in the OR and was blinded by the bright lights! I remember being amazed at all of the gear in that tiny room. There was a lot to look at- shelves of equipment everywhere, machines for which use I had not a clue, etc. I remember spotting the big clock on the wall and thinking "that's what they'll look at to tell me what time the baby is born!" J had to wait outside with our families for a while as they got me ready for surgery. I was moved onto the operating table and the anesthesiologists got to work. They upped the epidural and hung that annoying blue drape in front of me. I was surprised that the drape actually gets taped to your belly! The one lady kept poking my belly and then my arm asking if I could feel the poke on my belly. I felt a sensation, but not as much as the one on my arm. Guess that means the epi was turned up enough. She poked around my shoulder area, put my arms out to the side, propped my head on a pillow making sure I was comfortable, and put the oxygen tubes in my nose. At that point I just had to wait for the "man behind the curtain" to do his final preparations, so I laid there staring at the bright lights and listening to the LOUD country music station that they had on the radio. Then it was time to call J into the room.
|Already looking puffy and rosy cheeked from the Pitocin and fluids. HOT.|
J came in and I got very anxious (but in a good way) because the big moment was fast approaching. He sat at a chair by my left shoulder and rubbed my left arm and shoulders as we waited. He asked if I was okay and we talked for just a minute. I could hear the excitement in his voice when Michelle said "okay, Dad, do you have your camera ready?" I couldn't believe things were moving so fast! I heard the physician's assistant say "Oh, they don't know what it is?" and the excitement was building... They told me I might feel some tugging, but I felt nothing at all. Suddenly the P.A. exclaimed "IT'S A BOY!!!" and at 10:26 pm, just one hour and 34 minutes before my own birthday, the sweetest sound I've ever heard came into the OR canceling out all other sounds in that room. My son's first cry. A boy. Strong thoughts suddenly made me realize that I somehow knew it was a boy all along... I have a son, I thought. A baby boy. I couldn't see what was happening next, but they held the baby up and over the drape a little so I could see him. I saw this little hand, then an arm and the right side of his face. I'll never forget the site of that- his tiny face, that little hand, the crease in his chubby little wrists... They took him over to the warmer to clean him up. I laid there listening to everything going on around me and said out loud "Aww..." as I heard him crying. A wave of emotions came over me, and I started to cry. I was so happy that everything went smoothly, that he was healthy and here! His cries came quickly and loudly after he came out; the meconium didn't appear to be an issue at all! I listened to him cry, and could hear J saying to the nurses "he's so big! I can't believe how big he is!"
They asked J if he wanted to cut the cord and he said yes (he didn't think he'd want to before he saw him). I heard them giving him instructions, and J just kept saying "Hi buddy" and "I can't believe how big he is!" I started to wonder "geez, how big IS he?!" At one point J even said "it's like on TV how they deliver a newborn but it's like a 3 month old baby." haha
The nurses finished cleaning him up, and put him on the scale...
9 pounds 6.2 ounces! The nurses said "good decision on the c, Mom!" Doubt there was any way a 9 pound baby would have come out otherwise. Michelle took the camera from J, and handed him his son...
Our little guy snuggled up to his daddy, and mommy watched over them admiring her two boys...
|My favorite picture ever...|
The doctors worked to close me up, and had to ask J to leave the room as they were almost done. J went out to spread the good news, and I laid there listening to more country music. The lineup that night: "I Love You This Big" by Scotty McCreary at the moment of his birth, "Back to December" by Taylor Swift, "Don't Even Know His Last Name" by Carrie Underwood, and "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney. Classic. Michelle put a diaper on our little boy who was yet to be unnamed. (I told J and the P.A. that kept asking that I wanted to hold him and get a good look at him before we officially chose his name). They laid him in the bassinet as they transferred me back to a hospital bed. This moment was hilarious to me. Due to the awesome epidural, I couldn't move at all when they asked me to scooch over. I said that I couldn't because I had no feeling in my legs. (In my head now I'm picturing that scene in Can't Hardly Wait. I can't feel my legs...I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" Anyone?). So, in true transporting-a-sea-mammal style, three nurses lifted up the blanket I was laying on, and scooped me up and over to the bed.
Michelle said goodbye to me and wished us luck. I thanked her for everything she did for us, and then for the first time, they placed my baby boy in my arms and wheeled us off to the recovery room as I said "Hello. I'm your mommy and I love you..." J met us in the recovery room where we spent some quiet time together as a family trying to get baby to latch on (a story for another day...). We held him, started to fall in love with him, and decided to name him Julian Finlay (nickname Finn). J confessed to me "I wanted a boy. I didn't realize how much until he was born," and I knew that in my heart I knew it was meant to be for I wanted him too...
The End of our birth story. The beginning of many adventures to come. Thanks for reading.
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 1
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 2
How I Became a Mommy- Birth Story: Part 3